Skip to content

Posts tagged ‘Carols’

On the Seventh day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…seven swans a-swimming

So on the sixth day of Christmas, poor Normy never managed to give his loved one Normette any gift at all. Or, to put it accurately, he did give a gift, but Normette would have had to fly all the way out to the Caribbean to get her hands on it, and what she would do with 6 slightly sun-roasted geese complete with an underlying taste of sun tan lotion she didn’t know. So as for the seventh day of Christmas, Normy had all 3 of his fingers and his 1 thumb crossed in the hope that his next gift would be a success, and Normette had her carefully curled eyelashes equally crossed in the hope that this time she might actually receive something she could enjoy, or at the very least get her hands upon!

Up next in the 12 days carol is the seven swans a-swimming. Normy wasn’t overly sure how to go about gifting 7 swans. It seemed altogether rather extravagant to him, and what with there being some antiquated law about its being treason towards Her Majesty Queen Normabeth II if you kill a swan in her realm (allegedly she owns them all), Normy thought he had better steer clear of the real thing. Instead he had a brainwave! He could take Normette on a trip down to the local park, where, as luck would have it, there was a “Swan Lake boating park”, whereby those Norms who enjoy bobbing around on the water, could hire a swan-shaped boat and sail around the large lake to their hearts’ content. Why, he would even hire 7 of the things if he needed to!

So off they went, Normette barely containing her excitement as they went on their merry way to collect her latest present. However this excitement was, as ever, shortlived. No sooner had they arrived in the boating park, than they noticed an ugly large sign alerting them that Swan Lake was closed! The swan-shaped boats were there, but there was certainly no swimming, or boating to be done in them – the lake was frozen solid! Poor Normy! Poor Normette!

On the 7th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me, 7 swans a-swimming (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

On the 7th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me, 7 swans a-swimming (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

However there is surely a happy ending to this story… The lake may be frozen, but just look what a magical ice-skating rink it has become. As Norms young and old set out on their Norm-tailored skates, toboggans and sledges, dancing and skidding across the lake’s hardened surface, others enjoy the festive Christmas fair which has popped up around it, complete with mulled wine and traditional Christmas toys, and behind, a ferris wheel spins Norms around at a leisurely pace, affording them the best view of the frozen lake, the market and the woods beyond.

So no swans a-swimming, but this winter wonderland must be worth some brownie points surely? Well done Normy, you’re getting there! Let’s hope his luck continues on the eight day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the Fifth day of Chritsmas my Normy gave to me…

…five gold rings

Poor Normy has got himself into a bit of a pickle over this one. Trying to remain as faithful as possible to the words of the traditional carol, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Normy decided to give to his loved one, Normette, five gold rings upon the fifth day of Christmas. Little could he foresee the trouble that would ensue.

On receiving the package containing her latest gift from Normy, Normette’s eyes grew wider and wider with delight as she uncovered one gold ring after another. However her happiness soon turned to consternation. You see Norms only have one arm, and four fingers – well, three fingers and a thumb to be exact. So having slipped one gold ring over each of her fingers and thumb respectively (they fitted like a glove), imagine her confusion when Normette found a further fifth ring at the bottom of the package. Why could this be? Norms only have four fingers, so what on earth would the other one be for, she thought. It was too small for her wrist, and Norms don’t have ears upon which a ring can be hung. Well then, there was only one conclusion she could make. With tears in her eyes, and filling up with rage and distress and utmost horror, Normette came to the only conclusion she considered to logically fit the facts…Normy must be having an affair!

On the 5th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me...5 gold rings (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

On the 5th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me…5 gold rings (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

Oh dear. Something tells me there won’t be “peace on earth and goodwill to all Norms” in the home of Normy and Normette this Christmas! Let’s hope Normy can make up for his faux pas with a suitably lavish gift on the sixth day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the Second day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

… two turtle doves (and a partridge in a Norm-pear tree)

These extravagant Christmas presents on each of the 12 days of Christmas are all very well, but as Normette has quickly found out, some of them are more trouble than they’re worth. Take day two’s offering. Two turtle doves? What kind of a present is that? Not only are these strange creatures a kind of hybrid between dove and turtle, but sadly for Normette, who has all sorts of Christmas shopping to get on with (not to mention a manicure down at the local beauty salon) her turtle doves appear to have adopted all the sluggardly pace of a turtle, and none of the graceful speed of a dove. Not only that, but with a great lumbering shell on their backs, how ever is Normette supposed to fit the creatures into the dovecot provided by her lover on this second day of Christmas?

Let’s hope he does better on the third…

On the second day of Christmas my Normy gave to me...Two turtle doves (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

On the second day of Christmas my Normy gave to me…Two turtle doves (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.