On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…a partridge in a Norm-pear tree.

We’re into December and Christmas is but weeks away. Hard to believe really that it’s come around so quickly, but now that my decorations are up, it’s time to get the Norms into gear as well.

This year, as part of the Norms’ celebration of Christmas, the Norms have decided to recount one of their favourite Christmas carols: “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in illustrated form. Now before you say anything, I know that the 12 days of Christmas don’t start until after Christmas day itself, but let’s face facts here, no one is really interested in Christmas much after the Downton Abbey Christmas special has aired at around 10pm on the 25th. So it’s only appropriate that the Norms’ recollection of this much-loved carol is celebrated now, on these heady days leading up to Christmas.

So, as the familiar carol goes, on the 12 days of Christmas, Normy gave his lover a gift each day, the gift becoming more and more extravagant as the days went on.

A partridge in a Norm-pear tree (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

“On the first day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me, a partridge in a Norm-pear tree”.

Now this may be the first gift of many, but do not underestimate its value: the Norm-pear tree is a rare and interesting phenomenon, rarely seen by us humans. While scientists looking into the complex genealogy of the Norm species have yet to understand the true process by which a Norm is born, it is widely considered that Norms, who are by nature intrinsically pear-shaped, are actually born from the Norm-pear tree. Starting as flowers with a fragrance as sweet as honeyed nectar, and a colour the shade of azure-tinted white, the Norm-pears take several months to develop from a small round blob into the perfect curvaceous Norm-shape we love and know. In the final stages of gestation, the Norm develops his characteristic one arm and his wide eyes open to the light of day. At this point it is thought that the Norm will fall to the ground, leaving his leaves and stalk behind on the tree, and will, owing to his gelatinous form, bounce a little until coming to a stop. And so the Norm life begins.

So that’s the theory, and you will, no doubt, understand now what a precious gift Normy has given his lover on the first day of Christmas. The fact that there is a pesky partridge sitting inside it is by-the-by.

What will Normy give his lover on the second day of Christmas?