The Daily Sketch: The age-old problem of how a Norm should wear a Clog

Today’s Daily Sketch deals with the age-old problem of how a Norm should wear the good old dutch clog. It certainly is a dilemma. They’re everywhere in Holland, in every souvenir shop and market, hanging from the ceiling in charismatic old cafés and flashed around on postcards as the ultimate emblem of jolly dutch heritage. They’re so tempting in their multicoloured curvaceous form, with their pointed toes and super reflective varnished finish. And the hollow clop-clop sound they make when they’re walked in is just glorious. You can understand the Norms’ disappointment then, upon buying said clog, full of promise, yet lacking instructions about how a Norm should utilise the wooden shoe to any kind of practical advantage. Norms don’t have feet you see, and try as they might to mould their bulging blobby form into feet shape, they just don’t fit. They’re tried balancing clogs on their heads, but invariably they fall off. Even worn as a dangly earring they are rather cumbersome.

The age-old problem of how a Norm should wear a clog (2012, pen on paper © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown)

The solution: why, buy an extra large clog of course (and they do come in all sorts of multifarious sizes). Then the clog really comes into its own! Here is a Norm using his clog as a skier-come-tabogan – the benefits are obvious, as that smooth varnished surface glides over the ice cold snow, the curvaceous form creating a streamlined surface built for speed, and the curved up middle providing Norm with the perfect protective wind shield. After all, how else could a Norm ski, sans feet? But this is just one example. Clog boat? Clog canoe? Clog bed? The possibilities are endless.

...And the Solution: Get a Large One (2012, pen on paper © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown)

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