Christmas | The Daily Norm

Dec 16

On the Seventh day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…seven swans a-swimming

So on the sixth day of Christmas, poor Normy never managed to give his loved one Normette any gift at all. Or, to put it accurately, he did give a gift, but Normette would have had to fly all the way out to the Caribbean to get her hands on it, and what she would do with 6 slightly sun-roasted geese complete with an underlying taste of sun tan lotion she didn’t know. So as for the seventh day of Christmas, Normy had all 3 of his fingers and his 1 thumb crossed in the hope that his next gift would be a success, and Normette had her carefully curled eyelashes equally crossed in the hope that this time she might actually receive something she could enjoy, or at the very least get her hands upon!

Up next in the 12 days carol is the seven swans a-swimming. Normy wasn’t overly sure how to go about gifting 7 swans. It seemed altogether rather extravagant to him, and what with there being some antiquated law about its being treason towards Her Majesty Queen Normabeth II if you kill a swan in her realm (allegedly she owns them all), Normy thought he had better steer clear of the real thing. Instead he had a brainwave! He could take Normette on a trip down to the local park, where, as luck would have it, there was a “Swan Lake boating park”, whereby those Norms who enjoy bobbing around on the water, could hire a swan-shaped boat and sail around the large lake to their hearts’ content. Why, he would even hire 7 of the things if he needed to!

So off they went, Normette barely containing her excitement as they went on their merry way to collect her latest present. However this excitement was, as ever, shortlived. No sooner had they arrived in the boating park, than they noticed an ugly large sign alerting them that Swan Lake was closed! The swan-shaped boats were there, but there was certainly no swimming, or boating to be done in them – the lake was frozen solid! Poor Normy! Poor Normette!

On the 7th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me, 7 swans a-swimming (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

However there is surely a happy ending to this story… The lake may be frozen, but just look what a magical ice-skating rink it has become. As Norms young and old set out on their Norm-tailored skates, toboggans and sledges, dancing and skidding across the lake’s hardened surface, others enjoy the festive Christmas fair which has popped up around it, complete with mulled wine and traditional Christmas toys, and behind, a ferris wheel spins Norms around at a leisurely pace, affording them the best view of the frozen lake, the market and the woods beyond.

So no swans a-swimming, but this winter wonderland must be worth some brownie points surely? Well done Normy, you’re getting there! Let’s hope his luck continues on the eight day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
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On the Sixth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)

Dec 12

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On the Sixth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…six geese a-laying

Now Normette would be the first to admit that her presents from Normy haven’t exactly been a huge success so far. The Norm-pear tree was pretty good, albeit that it takes a lot of watering and doesn’t survive at all well in this chilly weather, oh and the partridge perched in it keeps on attempting to peck at the baby Norms; then there were the two turtle-doves who wouldn’t fly or fit in a dove cot; the three French hens were awfully chic but ever so demanding, and as for the four colly birds – by the time they had flown from their pie, shocked the guests and splattered gravy all over Normette’s living room, they then proved a devil to catch. And perhaps it’s better not to mention the five gold rings, one of which caused an irrevocable breakdown in Normette’s trust for Normy (despite his later protestations that the fifth ring was presented in homage to the carol, and not intended for another lover!). Despite all of this, when the sixth day of Christmas came, Normette was rather looking forward to receiving another gift, and Normy saw it as an opportunity to redeem himself.

Imagine their shock then when no present turned up! Let me explain… Next on the list in The Twelve Days of Christmas are the six geese a-laying. In pursuit of six egg-laying geese, Normy called his local farmer and explained what he wanted. Farmer Norm noted down the order, but was rather busy skinning some Turkeys for a mountain of Christmas orders, so he passed on the order to 6 geese on his farm explaining what Normy wanted.

Now geese are not the cleverest of birds, and when they saw that Normy wanted “six geese a-laying”, they assumed he wanted six geese lying down. Now “lay” is the past tense of “lie”, so it’s not altogether surprising that they made this obvious grammatical mistake, especially as geese are not that used to reading… Anyway, the geese, being something of a group of opportunists, decided that since they were expected to present themselves lying down, they may as well do it somewhere nice. And seeing as Normy had already sent payment to the farmer for the geese, the very same pesky birds decided to take the cash and book themselves the first available flights to a location where lying back would be enjoyable.

And so, while the six geese should have been a-laying big eggs in Normette’s backyard, where do you think they ended up? Why, lying back having a splendid time on a beach in the caribbean, and not an egg or nest in sight!

On the Sixth day of Christmas my Normy gave to me six geese a-laying (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

Poor Normy. Poor Normette. Let’s cross our fingers and hope that Normy has better luck on the Seventh day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Second day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Third day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Fourth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Fifth day of Chritsmas my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)

Dec 11

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On the Fifth day of Chritsmas my Normy gave to me…

…five gold rings

Poor Normy has got himself into a bit of a pickle over this one. Trying to remain as faithful as possible to the words of the traditional carol, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Normy decided to give to his loved one, Normette, five gold rings upon the fifth day of Christmas. Little could he foresee the trouble that would ensue.

On receiving the package containing her latest gift from Normy, Normette’s eyes grew wider and wider with delight as she uncovered one gold ring after another. However her happiness soon turned to consternation. You see Norms only have one arm, and four fingers – well, three fingers and a thumb to be exact. So having slipped one gold ring over each of her fingers and thumb respectively (they fitted like a glove), imagine her confusion when Normette found a further fifth ring at the bottom of the package. Why could this be? Norms only have four fingers, so what on earth would the other one be for, she thought. It was too small for her wrist, and Norms don’t have ears upon which a ring can be hung. Well then, there was only one conclusion she could make. With tears in her eyes, and filling up with rage and distress and utmost horror, Normette came to the only conclusion she considered to logically fit the facts…Normy must be having an affair!

On the 5th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me…5 gold rings (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

Oh dear. Something tells me there won’t be “peace on earth and goodwill to all Norms” in the home of Normy and Normette this Christmas! Let’s hope Normy can make up for his faux pas with a suitably lavish gift on the sixth day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Second day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Third day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Fourth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)

Dec 10

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On the Fourth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…four colly birds

I know what you’re thinking – is that a misprint – isn’t it 4 calling birds? Well, here’s the newsflash – 4 calling birds is wrong! And thank goodness for Normy, whose dedicated research uncovered this now largely unknown mistake!

Yes, persevering in his hunt of the gifts fabled to be given to a loved one in the carol, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Normy was researching online to find out where on earth he would find 4 calling birds to give to his dear Normette…only to discover that actually he should be giving her 4 colly birds. Various theories exist online as to why the colly of the 16th century verse gradually became mixed up and morphed into calling birds. But now that the mistake has firmly taken hold in the consciousness of so many, we at The Daily Norm thought it was about time the record was put straight. And not only that. Normy was adamant that he would give Normette a present representing the correct version of the carol.

However, despite his efforts, poor Normy got carried away with his internet research. Having discovered that the word colly derives from colliery, (which is a coal mine) and that a colly is actually another word for a blackbird, this nickname being given because of the blackbird’s coal-like black feathers, Normy then started researching where he could buy blackbirds. Sure enough, he came across that other popular verse, Sing a song of sixpence, A pocket full of rye. Four and twenty blackbirds, Baked in a pie, and quite forgetting which lyrics he was meant to be emulating, ordered 4 blackbirds baked in a pie! Imagine then the shock Normette experienced when she sat down to a Christmas feast with her friends and family only to break into a pie full of live blackbirds! I’m not sure she will ever get over the shock!

On the 4th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me 4 colly birds (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

Let’s hope Normy does better on the fifth day of Christmas…

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Second day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)
On the Third day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)

Dec 6

15 Comments

On the Second day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

… two turtle doves (and a partridge in a Norm-pear tree)

These extravagant Christmas presents on each of the 12 days of Christmas are all very well, but as Normette has quickly found out, some of them are more trouble than they’re worth. Take day two’s offering. Two turtle doves? What kind of a present is that? Not only are these strange creatures a kind of hybrid between dove and turtle, but sadly for Normette, who has all sorts of Christmas shopping to get on with (not to mention a manicure down at the local beauty salon) her turtle doves appear to have adopted all the sluggardly pace of a turtle, and none of the graceful speed of a dove. Not only that, but with a great lumbering shell on their backs, how ever is Normette supposed to fit the creatures into the dovecot provided by her lover on this second day of Christmas?

Let’s hope he does better on the third…

On the second day of Christmas my Normy gave to me…Two turtle doves (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me… (daily-norm.com)

Dec 5

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On the First day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…a partridge in a Norm-pear tree.

We’re into December and Christmas is but weeks away. Hard to believe really that it’s come around so quickly, but now that my decorations are up, it’s time to get the Norms into gear as well.

This year, as part of the Norms’ celebration of Christmas, the Norms have decided to recount one of their favourite Christmas carols: “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in illustrated form. Now before you say anything, I know that the 12 days of Christmas don’t start until after Christmas day itself, but let’s face facts here, no one is really interested in Christmas much after the Downton Abbey Christmas special has aired at around 10pm on the 25th. So it’s only appropriate that the Norms’ recollection of this much-loved carol is celebrated now, on these heady days leading up to Christmas.

So, as the familiar carol goes, on the 12 days of Christmas, Normy gave his lover a gift each day, the gift becoming more and more extravagant as the days went on.

A partridge in a Norm-pear tree (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

“On the first day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me, a partridge in a Norm-pear tree”.

Now this may be the first gift of many, but do not underestimate its value: the Norm-pear tree is a rare and interesting phenomenon, rarely seen by us humans. While scientists looking into the complex genealogy of the Norm species have yet to understand the true process by which a Norm is born, it is widely considered that Norms, who are by nature intrinsically pear-shaped, are actually born from the Norm-pear tree. Starting as flowers with a fragrance as sweet as honeyed nectar, and a colour the shade of azure-tinted white, the Norm-pears take several months to develop from a small round blob into the perfect curvaceous Norm-shape we love and know. In the final stages of gestation, the Norm develops his characteristic one arm and his wide eyes open to the light of day. At this point it is thought that the Norm will fall to the ground, leaving his leaves and stalk behind on the tree, and will, owing to his gelatinous form, bounce a little until coming to a stop. And so the Norm life begins.

So that’s the theory, and you will, no doubt, understand now what a precious gift Normy has given his lover on the first day of Christmas. The fact that there is a pesky partridge sitting inside it is by-the-by.

What will Normy give his lover on the second day of Christmas?

© Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm, 2001-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the material, whether written work, photography or artwork, included within The Daily Norm without express and written permission from The Daily Norm’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicholas de Lacy-Brown and The Daily Norm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Dec 4

3 Comments

My Christmas Wonderland, Part II

It’s day two of my Christmas decoration posts, and today I’m sharing my two “glamour” trees, a stonking-great cornucopia of exquisitely sparkling, extravagantly baroque, exorbitantly lavish Christmas decoration, the crystal-encrusted gems of my yuletide collection, decked out with the kind of elaborate ornamentation which only this exorbitant festive season will allow.

Venetian-Parisian Glamour

In my lounge, which is itself a homage to Parisian chic, decked out in black and white with splashes of vivid cadium red, my contemporary black tree exudes the spirit and sophistication of a European masquerade ball, with sparkling silver Venetian masks interspersed with glittering red Eiffel towers. My favourite baubles are those of transparent glass which have a small glass chandelier inside. They looks amazing when lit from behind by my steadily flashing pure white lights which enhance the sparkle throughout my tree.

Traditional Splendour

From continental glamour to traditional splendour, my new kid on the block this year is my lavish new hall-way tree, a suitable Christmas spectacle to greet guests to my home. This tree is bedecked with every kind of indulgent frippery, from gilded Louis XV arm chairs and glittering masks, to sparkling dragon flies and red old fashioned telephones. Amongst my favourite curiosities which have made their way onto this tree, I love my very appropriate festive London 2012 olympic mascots dressed in their beefeater and soldier uniforms, as well as my simple red baubles painted with Christmas puddings. The more unusual decorations on this tree are bound within a unifying theme of red, green and gold, reflected in both the lighting and the monochrome baubles, all of which combine to give great balance to this tree.

Finally, all the golden glamour of my hallway decorations is reflected in this little installation created on my sideboard – a panoply of gilded treasures with ruby red crackers, all culminating to create some festive fun which is deliciously exuberant. That’s my Christmas all over.

My Christmas Wonderland, Part I (daily-norm.com)

Dec 3

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My Christmas Wonderland, Part I

As a young boy I was obsessed with Christmas. For me, the sadness of a summer’s ending was tempered by the onset of Christmas. As soon as October came along, I was always chafing at the bit to get into the Christmas shops and to feast my eyes upon every kind of sparkle and glimmer, gems and gold, ostentation and glamour. Since Childhood through to adulthood, Christmas has always provided an excuse to go completely over the top, to indulge in the kind of decadent baroque-style over-excess which may grate in a year-round interior design scheme, but which, for the month of December, is the perfect antidote for the long dark evenings and the onset of Winter, and the perfect excuse to indulge in every whim and fancy.

In a Christmas tree, with a hundred lights reflecting in tinsel and glitter, in foil and metallic shimmer, every possible dimension is a further excuse to sparkle. Decorating a tree for Christmas is like draping a Monarch ready for a coronation. It is a process of such glamour, of such inexorable elegance that I cannot resist giving myself over, body and soul, to the temptations which Christmas decorating provide.

So now the autonomous adult, free from restraint, my Christmas decorational indulgence increases as each year goes on. I embark upon each room and tree as I would an interior design project, sculpting the tree, balancing its colours, reflecting the scheme to its surroundings, and always ensuring that Christmas has shared its sparkle with every corner of my home.

After a weekend of decorating, it’s time to share my decorations with the world. As I’ve erected rather a few trees this year, as well as various accompanying installations, I thought it best that I split this post in two. Up first are my more playful trees, situated in my bedroom and study respectively. These trees reflect childhood fun, through metallic robots and vivid brightly coloured deer, as well as multi-coloured bohemian glamour. Photos can never really capture the sparkle of the lights and the glitter of the decorations as you move past a tree – half the beauty of Christmas decorations, in my view, is the tree’s shimmer in a darkened room – and this is almost impossible to capture well on camera. Nevertheless, hopefully these photos will give you an idea of some of the creative fun I have had with my trees this year.

Oh and don’t forget to check out Part II tomorrow.

Childlike Charm

In the “Orange Office”, a tree bursting with citrus colours tempered with mediterranean sky blue and a deep royal purple. Upon the tree, vividly coloured deer and playful robots provide prominent focus in a scheme otherwise balanced with patterned and monochrome baubles of the four central colours.

Bohemian vivacity

From the bohemian revolution to burlesque freedom insouciance, the two trees in my bedroom are a panoply of candy pinks, verdant soft mossy greens, and turquoise blue. From nutcrackers for the new millenium, pink feathered burds, shiny opulent peacocks and a great pink translucent butterfly atop the tree, this scheme is like a stroll in a sweet shop, ever sense tantalised by the array of indulgent treats on show.

A Scandinavian Forest

In amongst the electric pinks of my bo-ho Christmas comes a moment of calm serenity. Upon my chest of drawers, I have created a forest-inspired installation, a little bit of calming traditional white in amongst all the action. On this mini 2ft tree, I have hung traditional white-painted wooden figures, paper bells, little blue birds and, best of all, the miniature “Moomin” mugs made by Finish homeware company Arabia, crafted as special releases for the festive season. Complete with fluffy owls, snowmen and glittery deer, this really is kitsch at its classiest.

So that’s it for today. Two more trees to share tomorrow. In the meantime, if you want to benefit from my “tips” on how to decorate the best Christmas tree every, see my post which I wrote on The Daily Norm a year ago.

Top-10 tips for decorating the perfect Christmas Tree (daily-norm.com)

Nov 5

2 Comments

Norm Christmas Cards – now for sale on Etsy!

Halloween is over, the evenings are quickly darkening, and there are only 7 weeks until Christmas – so the time has surely come to get your Christmas cards in order. Here on the Daily Norm, we like to help out with these little things, and in the spirit of spreading the Norms’ reach criss-crossing around the globe this festive season, the Norms have printed their very own Christmas cards in the hope that readers of the Daily Norm from around the world will also help to spread a little Norm festive cheer this year.

Hot off the press, these Christmas cards are prints of my 2011 paintings, Santa Norm and Snowman Norm. With whimsical, quirky, colourful and Christmasy artwork, these cards are both original and artistic ways of wishing your friends, family and associates a very Happy Christmas. With these cards, you will truly be sending a work of art this Christmas!

The Cards consist of a high quality, semi-gloss image printed onto sizeable A5 cardboard (148 x 210 cm/ 8.3 x 5.8 inches). Each cellophane wrapped pack of 10 cards comes with 5 cards of both the Snowman and Santa Norm design and 10 matching white envelopes. The inside of the cards reads: “WARMEST WISHES FOR A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR”.

And most importantly of all, they are available on my Etsy shop right here!

Now I don’t mean to turn my blog into a sales room, but since Norm is the new Holly (not to mention the Ivy), these cards are pretty much a must for those in the know this year. Need I say more?

Seasons greetings from the Norms (it’s early I know, but Norms are very organised creatures).

Dec 23

Norms do…A Christmas Carol (Part 2)

It’s incredibly close… only one full day to go until all the presents must be finished, the table primed, Nigella Lawson’s guidelines fully digested and memorised, and a tad of Delia Smith guidance absorbed to boot. And, as my preparations also get underway, this post will be my last before the great Christmas festival gets underway. Thereafter, posts may be a bit intermittent until New Year whereupon The Daily Norm will be back for 2012 with gusto!

In the meantime, and by way of a Merry Christmas gift to all of my followers, here as promised is the second part of my Christmas Carol feature, focusing on the seminal sections from Dickens’ great Christmas tale as illustrated by the Norms themselves. Merry Christmas!

The Cratchit family feast upon a pudding