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On the Tenth day of Christmas, my Normy gave to me…

…ten lords a-leaping

So for those of you who missed the last instalment of Normy’s quest to give his lover, Normette, a gift for each of the 12 days of Christmas, well, you could say it has all backfired a little. Rather than to woo Normette into Normy’s one-armed embrace, his gift of 9 ladies dancing enticed a rather stressed-out Normette to join the Moulin Rouge’s dancing troop. As we speak, she is flashing her nether regions to the rich punters of the infamous nightclub, dancing provocatively with her ruffled skirt up and letting her hair down most unsuitably. One could say she is having the time of her life, but poor Normy, back in England, is in despair. Just how will he persuade Normette to come back to England?

It was when Normy was watching a review of 2012 on television that he had an idea – what with all those views of the Diamond Jubilee, and the UK’s victorious performance at the London 2012 olympics – why, what better way to persuade Normette back to England than to remind her of just what is so great about the country compared to France, which she has now made her home. He would visit the creme de la creme of the UK, taking photos of all of the best features of this wonderful nation, sending each in turn to Normette on the 10th, 11th and 12th days of Christmas respectively – he may even send more. Whatever it takes to get Normette back!

First up, Normy paid a visit to what is now widely considered to be the very paradigm of true England – none other than Downton Abbey. And just as Normy was approaching the great Abbey and the very aristocratic Norm family who live within, he came across a whole gang of posh Lords – ten in fact, who happened to be energetically engaged in their annual festive race around the Downton grounds. Basically, as part of this race, the Lords leap around the estate perimeters, jumping over gates and hedgerows, ha-has and rivers, riding upon their hobby horses (real horses are far too big for Norms who would surely lose their balance from fear and splat on the ground) in order to increase their chances of a speedy victory. Oh what fun! And how convenient, thought Normy, that there were ten handsome Lords – there could be no better image to photograph for Normette and send to her on the 10th day of Christmas. With a sight as iconically English as this, what better reason could there be for Normette to flee France and come home to England ? (And after all, Normy doubted that France has anything as classy as Downton Abbey on its TV screens).

On the 10th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me, 10 Lords a-leaping (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

On the 10th day of Christmas my Normy gave to me, 10 Lords a-leaping (2012 © Nicholas de Lacy-Brown, pen on paper)

But surely this in itself will not persuade Normette to give up her jocular life of dancing and debauchery. How will Normy lure Normette back in the 11th day of Christmas?

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